Are you feeling like your relationship with your husband or wife is a bit dull? Perhaps it lacks zest. You have a routine down pat and you never alter your course. You come home from work exhausted and plop down in front of the television until your favorite show is done and then go to bed. Well, a marriage like that can become monotonous and nothing like a marriage at all, but more like a live-in-roomie situation. It can happen to the best marriages, but the difference is that the BEST marriages don’t give up, but seek to improve their status quo!
So, brainstorm, get your pen and paper ready for some great tips on how to liven up your marriage and put the spice back in it!
- Plan a weekend together. It doesn’t even have to be going out of town necessarily. Just plan something you can do that would include spending quality time together. Start on a Friday night. Go out to eat, go see a show, go walk around downtown or a park. Even go swing your wife at a local playground! Reminisce on your dating years. Act like kids. On Saturday wake up early and make breakfast together. Go to the beach, take a bike ride, go to a farmer’s market, do something you BOTH enjoy. And on Sunday, after church, take a nap together. Talk. Or don’t talk….it’s up to you! ;) Turn your phones off!! Trust me, you can live without them for three days.
- Ban the television for a week. Yes, a solid week. Stop whining!! What would you have done if they still hadn’t invented the TV? Start thinking in those terms. Come home from work and if dinner hasn’t been made help each other! Open a glass of wine and talk. Ask each other how their day went. Turn some music on, light some candles each night, and enjoy one another. Play a game after dinner or even go for a walk. Do something out of the ordinary to keep your marriage extraordinary!
- Write each other sweet love notes. I pack my husband’s lunch sometimes—depending on the day—and I write him notes sometimes to include in his lunchbox. Make them only for your lover’s eyes! If you have kiddos, be sure to tuck them away under the containers of food so no peaking happens. (You don’t want to have to explain their content to a 6 year old! Haha) I love notes. Write notes for him/her to discover all around the house! Tell him/her your deepest secrets, your deepest desires and your feelings. Don’t be afraid to be gushy—it’s your spouse!
- If you have kiddos then find a willing friend or family member to watch them. Go book a hotel and have a night and day to yourself. Pretend you have no kids and DETERMINE not to talk about them. Be adventurous and have some fun with each other. The greatest marriage is the ones who laugh the most together. After all, your spouse should be your best friend!
- Finally, buy or make each other gifts. You can determine to do this for a whole month or just a week. Exchange gifts over dinner or place them in random spots around the house and make it a fun scavenger hunt. You could even make it a game and put clues all around the house. One year for Christmas my dad put a bunch of fun ideas into a fish bowl on individual fish note cards and my mom was allowed to pull one out every week. How creative! There is more to gift giving than just purchasing an item. Thoughtfulness HAS to be a key element.
So, what ways have you tried to spice up your marriage? Remember, it doesn’t have to be extravagant. Make it practical and adjust it according to your marriage’s needs. For instance, my husband and I go to the gym every night together. It’s a great way to decompress and talk and work off steam. It gets us out of the house doing something other than watching TV. Plus, we love flirting at the gym.
Share with me the ways you’ve found to keep that spark alive!